.in.the.early.morning.march.

Lulu said...
Babe, i feel you, seriously...but if u really love him, just hang on for abit....

NS sucks big time(i know) and the most common perception about guys who have a gf when they enter NS, they became single when they ORD. Reason is, either the gf couldnt be patient enuf or theres a third party. So prove it wrong. Prove that u can do it.

I know ur patient, and u love him that much, so hang on for the sake of all the good times u had with him. Leaving him would not ease a burden off his shoulder like u wanted to do but instead it will add on the load of burden on his shoulder. Imagine the amount of stress and the state of depression he'd undergo if the love of his life were to leave him..

Hang on, babe...i know its easier said than done but i have gone thru what ur undergoing now back in 2006, and time flies, Hassan is finishing his NS in 2months time.

Just keep urself extremely busy on the days that u cant mit him or talk to him. Go out with ur frens.u have great frens supporting u like rai and tsue...be strong ok.

love,lulu =))

with regards to the entry below..she posted this comment..thanks,lulu..it had enlightened me somehow.. :) i noe i gotta hold on..to dear sweet memories..and the future that nobody noes..yet we planned..and i noe that as wat wan had told me once.."good things happen to those who waits.." things will be better,isn't it?yea..im still convincing myself..

it's hard,but it's harder for him..and it'll be worse if i were to leave him..as lulu said to feel depressed knowing the fact that his loved one's gone..i had a good talk with tsue last night..both were lashing our hearts out..coz we were depressed..and she felt me,as how i felt her...wat came out of it?nothing..but the fact that everything's out from my chest,i felt better..even if there's no solution to it..wat's the solution?i dunnoe who holds it..

he called and wat i've texted him the night bfore was being misread.he misunderstood the whole page and he thought im upset coz i dun get to see nor talk to him.on weekdays.sigh..time was wasted as i repeatedly explained to him wat i was trying to convey..i had sounded not bothered..and my voice and tonality realli showed..coz i am can't be bothered about anything..i dun wanna think anymore..coz im simply tired and brain dead..and the last few words that he said was "i thought u said you're gonna hold..." end of call.the line was disconnected.his mobile was switched off..called him 20 more times,still it was switched off...called darf,she said sufi had surrendered his mobile a while ago..which yea..i guess that abrupt end of call was coz the sargeant was already asking for their hps back..

i feel guilty and somehow regretful..i have not explained myself fully neither have i comforted him..not sugar coating those hurtful words i said,but to assure him and explain how i feel...and he's gonna have his 2.4 run today..him being sick and him so tired and stressed about this relationship,im scared he'll fail..or something bad happened to him..i feel bad..coz eventhough how much im hurt,i dun wanna hurt him at the wrong timing..that sudden end of call really made me think of the consequences..of how he will be..it's no longer about me..im thinking more about him...coz i still do have his best interest at heart..and i dun wanna ruin it...

i cant be bothered.still i am feeling that way.as confused as how i sound,i have yet to straighten my myriad thoughts out..I still am unsure of wat i need or want..maybe i should just hold on..eventhough my heart's feeling so empty..but maybe i'll just be here..for the sake of being here..to keep up with my promises..eventhough my efforts wouldn't pay off,at least i now im doing my part..im tired eversince sunday..im tired of crying,of wrecking my brains,of assuring myself to be okay..and to fill my heart and mind with nothingness...

happy thursday,loves..