.coz.that's.all.we.have.

there' nothing to despair...

yesterday 2 of my close colleagues,mar and nazeerah placed their resignation letter on ashik,my manager's table.their's is a week's notice,hence their last day would be next tuesday...while for me,it's 24hours notice..and yes,i'll be shoving my resignation letter up his nose on the 10th,once i get my pay.can't take it here anymore and it's time that i find other prospects after waiting patiently of the proposal he had given for 2 whole months.but nothing came out of it.i wouldnt say i've not been doing a good job at work.i'd say there's nothing that can bring me down..coz my colleagues are a bunch of nice people and loading bay's always filled with laughter as the smoke billows to the ceiling.however the management??not professional and he cant handle pressure.not that we were asking for it,he was the one who brings it upon himself.and it's time that he earns his own respect.

on the 3rd i'll have an interview..still with ntuc income,but under another department...'branch servicing'.now that would be handling policyholder's queries face to face as i'll be at the frontline hence they'll come directly to the branch to either make payment or make noise..thanks to suhaimi who had helped a lot on this..

im on half day today..thank god..as i dread gng to work in the morning..a whole month of being super short-tempered,as though im having my pms moments every single day..work is just getting too much and it's time to move on further..

last 2 nights had dinner with liz and pipi at 'blue oasis' at century square..before that i went to snip..i cut my hair and my bangs look awful..due to the fact that the receptionist who answered my call said that Nitch,my hairdresser's fully booked.i trust Nitch coz she's the only one that noes how anal i can be about my bangs..so i thought..fug it.let's just go.i got darwen and nitch wasn't busy at all!!!and i cant just ask darwen to stop and let nitch take over.the results,my bangs look awful and i feel ugly.lesson learnt?be patient and wait for nitch to finish wat she has to do. -.-

i miss the ghumbra..a whole lot.ohtosan!!lol...

happy thursday,bitches.

.blue.lights.and.guitars.

streaks of red breaks through the horizon..

weekends well-spent as he held me and hugged me randomly..those funny antics he'll make and gibberish language he'll say..however on saturday nite we had a small tiff over the words he said..which had hurt me deeply..like a slap across the face.

every argument we have,i wont be able to sleep at night without settling things..hence i tossed and turned and waited for sleep to come..yet it didnt happen..it was so tempting to just call him in the middle of the night..but im sure that that would only add on to the argument we just had..alas sleep came..for just a short while..

ringtone 'the fallen' went off as i knew who it was.smart ass sure noes how to get things his way still as i heard his mum saying 'hello' over the fone..she asked me to come by open plaze at tm since their cousin's performing for Asian Beats..ska band,'private eye'..by then it was past 2pm..and they'll be performing at 2.30..i scolded ej for being suchan ass by calming me down with the use of his mum as he laughed away..

once i alighted from 291,i saw his family..fug..obvious that i missed the show..talked to his cousin's gf and talked to his mum..then after they wanted to go off as his mum hugged me and pulled me close and whispered,asking me to take care of ej...hurhur..

went back to open plaza,just me and ej as i saw kayyum and hafiz..they'll be performing as well..some deathcore band..stayed to watch as criss irwin was there as well to perform..whooh..kayyum's band was damn awesome as me,ej and dafi cheered them on..at 6.30 we went off as he had to book in by 8pm..

he held and kept hugging me..and as i waved him goodbye while the bus to his camp pass me by,i felt a part of me empty...but i'll see him again soon....very much soon..

as he said those words on sunday nite..i smiled and did a dance as he remembers..he remebers... :D

happy tuesday,babes.

.solace.

when the cold wind blows..

he better not be surprised to see 4 resignation letter on his table next week.work's being more than a bitch and things are being changed from time to time without our acknowledgement.i dread coming to work every single day,pale to comparison of how it was last time where every working day is a normal day..now,i have to drag myself out of the bed and ignore those promising excuse running in my head just so i can take the day off..

i did a crazy thing,sending my resume to sph.knowing that that would be prolly chucked out of sight for them..but hell..the idea of working there gives me adrenaline rush,knowing that it is one of my interest to write..eventhough there wasnt any need of qualification nor did it indicate the number of experience,im sure they're more interested in those who has qualifications under journalism or mass comm..blardy..

last night after work met up with tsue as we catch up on life and lots of bitchtalks..it was great as it was prolly a month since i last saw her..stories being shared and stuff to update each other..sat at waterfall,in front of my work place when we heard sirens..there was an ambulance and it stopped at interchange...okay..i shall not say anything else coz it was damn too embarrassing and super kental of us.

ej might book out 2mrw...or might not.honestly yesterday was not a great day for me and i needed him the most but time didnt permit him to even use his phone.and today,he tried to make up for it as the morning text came and a smile was plastered on my face all the way to work.thank you,angel.

happy thursday,everyone..(OMFG 2MRW'S FRIDAY!!!!hell yeah!!!!)

.what's.in.a.name.

incomplete story,unfold the theory.

i remember months back sitting at mcdees with ira,liz and pipi..after an incident that had happened to the former and myself,healing,trying to move on from the previous relationship..liz asked the question that was brought upon her by her sister.."wat isit in him that u can nvr ever get from another guy.." we talk for hours and hours..our last stick became the second last and so forth as more discussions took place as we left the place alas nearing 2am..and right now,the question is in my head..all those memories still vivid in my mind..

it's now 11 months that have passed,being with ej..and nvr have i thought that it would last this long..not that i intend to break up with him,but just that this is by far the longest relationship i've ever had..and each time i want to turn my back against him,i see myself chasing after him and nvr had i find this relationship anywhere near stale.

so wat is it about him that i can never ever get from any other guy?simple.

his sincerity in loving someone and to care for others had always been pure..his concern for me and the way he hold me,despite his build is so tender..his patience is endless and he would always calm me down..he will always try to please me and though few empty promises,he'll have ways to make it up to me..he pampers me throughout,not with money but from the love that i can feel and somehow see..all those affectionate names he'll call and chosen words he'll say that will always make my day..of course his build is a huge plus as i love to lie on his chest and feel extremely secure when he hug and hold me..and those eyes and smile and silliness..that ensures me that i can be myself..regardless farts or random spastic antics i'll make on the streets..

his patience and endurance..that's wat realli keeps us going..happy 11 months to us,baby...for sure most of you cringes while reading (that is if u totally read everything) or say it's ONLY 11 months..but hey..all relationships go through the months and years together before u settle it all down,isn't it?

i'm blessed.

happy tuesday,loves

.as.it.jerks.forwards.

i thank god i'm still alive..

i shan't post my recent adventures and things that have happened..one thing for sure,i enjoyed saturday..with love,gf and dude.thank you..i realli wished that the initial plan happened,but it backfired as we all were rushing from places to places..yet,she was still smiling from ear to ear...as we sat outside cathay and laugh our asses off with bad jokes and stupid antics..and for sure..lots and lots of mockings..

glass broke..plate fell..all within reach eventhough we were about to grasp it..and rite now im realli thinking of how much a bad omen can realli affect me..to stay till late just to wait for my sister to be home...and yesterday as shagged and sleepy as i was,i dragged my ass to mit ej bfore he books in..just to ensure everything is fine..that ppl that i love are still here with me..from cabs to cabs..nets to cash..i can foresee that imma go broke in weeks to come..and with that,i'll be so damn dead.

the insurance agent from prudential's such an ass..unprofessional and too casual..we had to go to tanjong pagar just to mit him at his building..finally time was up as the agent was damn late..we grabbed our bags and laugh our ass off as we took the bus to leave,without informing him..while waiting,ej fooled ard outside fujirox building...with him singing and us screaming randomly..i was brought upon those memories of us months back..waddyanoe..2mrw would be our 11 month...a year would be knocking on our door soon..and it's realli unbelievable of how fast time flies...

i woke up with arch enemy's ring tone..time was 5am..love texted...and yes,i cant wait to see him...a year or 2 may pass us by..however love's still burning madly in me for him..and it will not cease neither will it die..carpe diem..today's a new day..and always it'll be..

death sure is impatient..

happy monday,y'all..

.sure.is.dark.

tara love..

.i'm.part.of.you.definately.

the number of mickey..

a big shout out to my love.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAIHANAH LOVE!!!!

it was her boobsday yesterday..unfortunately was unable to celebrate with her as im broke,broke,broke..literally a dollar in my account,balls..anyhoos,happy 21st and i promise to celebrate come pay day,okay..hope u had fun regardless and able to gobble all 3 choc cake despite urself being so sick..lol..

yesterday was sucha horrible day..the target had increased tremendously and it caught each of us offguard as it was the first working day for the new month..having the target as 60 and to have 4 leads,i was working my ass off and was rushing to hit the target bfore i could do the assigning of data..at 5.35 finally i finished everything..god..i slumped back in my chair and gave a huge relief,balls..eventhough it was all done,i was damn pissed coz for the last hour it was damn hard to get hold of the policyholders..blardy...

eversince ej get to hold his mobile,he had been sucha sweetheart..i was pmsing and a need to have chocs or my koko krunch (note.craving for it since last week) just to make myself better..but ej was assuring and kept calling and texting to ensure that i'm okay..a couple of breakdowns as i had my typical excruciating pain due to red dot day and policyholders being nasty weren't of any help..he made me better..thank you...

one thing for sure right now i need to quit this job and find other better prospects..i need to explore further and of course to get more pay..i just need to have time to do all that though..it's better to secure another job,then quit rather than to quit and then to find other opportunities..

i cant wait to see the bf..i need him..and he had always been there for me..thank you..he assured and reassured me the whole day yesterday as at night he coax me and all the rage i felt about work had been lifted...he had always been wonderful..i love him and will always do...and today i brought a whole pack of koko krunch..hurhur..

happy wednesday angels.

.the.heart.beats.your.name.all.the.time.

sweet child o' mine..

too much to type,too much to say.a whole lotta things happened over the weekends..friday where i rushed home from my half day of work to go to his prom nite..balls,i tell u..prom nite my ass.it was held at the parade square,whereby chairs were being lined up and tables were stacked to make a mini-stage..sheesh!ej broke my rose..it's given to the girls when they register their names..he took the initiative to find another..and then he broke the 2nd rose while in the bus otw home.blardy...i was wearing a low-cut dress and felt damn exposed at my chest area..thought to myself that it'll be fine as i have ej with me..but nnnoo...was wearing so nice when i looked on my right and saw the girl wearing shorts and slippers.kapeesh!!and ej had to alight at ct hall to take the train home coz if he takes the bus at int,he'll miss that last bus for sure..felt too exposed all alone in the train where a group of guys were standing in front of me. so i took the cab home from tanah merah..

saturday morning rushed to the chalet..closest cousin,yana's getting married to fad..vocalist from morning eutopia..hence the whole deco was gothic and since he has connections with fatimah mohsin,everything was from her package..dang..awesome,man..held at the ballroom and during dinner,suhaimi yusof and seha were there..due to fad being the editor of suria.or something like it..and so he made a surprise to yana as the lighs went dim and he got up and sang to her..i cried,okay..it was damn touching..

got back to the chalet where it occupies only me,mum,pipi and the 3 kids..ej came over with egg sandwiches and the nescafe pack that mum had asked him to buy..eventhough it was nearing 11pm that he had reached,the kids went all hyper over him and he was so sweet as to entertain them.oh yea..a box of chocs for me that he had bought.. :D the kids didn't wanna slp as ej was playing with them..only when pipi got realli mad that they stopped and went to bed..mum and him made some talks..awesome.. :)

the next morning,i woke up feeling so groggy..didnt get enuf sleep as ej and i were playing animal kingdom and teased each other all the way till 3-4am..he was awake since prolly 7am..had brought my nephew to the playground and my niece to the shop...aaww..how sweet..mum was all complimenting him,boy..and so when it was 9++ we were all watching tv..tom and jerry was on the tube..and guess who was laughing his ass off??ej..sheesh!!damn loud and damn tickled by the antcis,balls..damn cute..

walked all the way to mcdees to have lunch..took a cab and i noe that mum and him are comfortable with each other..mum and him were already making conversations casual and seemed as though they've known each other for quite a while already...*smiles*...all's well...all's well..

he's in camp and now they get to hold their fone!!yessah!!!so every now and then i get texts and calls from him...love it..cant wait to see him this weekend..bbq pit with the company.manager asked to invite him.."go and invite ur part-time bf...no,no,no..ur weekend bf!!!" cb...can't wait,can't wait...woots!!!

i see myself loving you more as each day passes by..and we'll reach our dreams in time to come..coz it'll always be me and you...just us two..

happy tuesday,arses!