.caliban.morning.

for all that we've gone thru...

he fetched me at loading day after work on monday..took a cab there coz he was late..and he called.he said i'll have to wait for another hour..fug..suddenly while talking to him,he stood before me...cb..threw him a huge hug..gosh..missed him so much!!took the train to dhoby as the plan was to catch a movie..been a while..

watched death race which is a fuggen awesome movie!!!the girl is so damn hot..even i couldnt stop oggling my eyes on her assets..haha..no,im not turning lesbian on u now..still prefer real men.anw,then after things kinda got sour as we took the escalator down..misunderstanding and a small argument as i walked off from him towards the mrt station and himself to ps..i was totally out of control..the rage,the disappointment and all the trust i had for him..i was walking aimlessly,complaining to tsue which half of the conversation i doubt she could even hear..i had tears running down my cheeks,oblivious to the crowd walking past me..i was realli,realli feeling depressed..and yes,near suicidal..it's like all faith and hope literally fade out..all the effort put to waste..and all u see is just a human figure..literally..not just being dramatic,but tat's how i felt on monday nite..that soul-less being,all air escaped from my lungs...

i knew i shouldn't have walked off from him..i sat at dhoby platform,crying...i called him back and asked where he was...ps.i walked..on the fone with pipi..crying again..and i didnt wanna let him see my weakness,so i wiped my tears away and met him.we walked in silence and the greying of nite hovering us..i could see the rage in him..the face all formed a crease..i knew he was mad..and myself,empty.we didnt talk..as we were taking the train,he stood in front of me and kissed my forehead..the smell of his usual sweet in his mouth filled my nose,plus with a little something..i sniffed again...sigh...i asked.he said he did.my disappointment was beyond words.

for 7days that i waited..for all these while in ns..i still waited,though at times i felt like giving up,but still here i am standing before him..and that's wat i got..although it was a misunderstanding,i wouldnt even wanna noe if anothr person were to be in the picture..coz this is for him.for us.for the relationship.we talked that night on the fone abt wat actually happened..yes,he has a lotta frens..and myself,i do too..just that i find myself contacting my close ones..and he noes who they are..and i guess i thought he did the same too to me..obviously not.which created all these...

tuesday took leave as i wanted to send him off..poor thing as i saw him carrying that huge ass big black bag..he was actually slouching..i tried to lift the bag,only to get real tired..ha..he looked tired..he looked shagged..and i would say that since he booked out on monday,it had been quite different..change in his excitement of meeting up..i see him more looking in dire need of rest..and that call..yesterday after booking in again..i was all excited coz i already missed him..and i got a tired 'hello' from him..i could only sigh and wish him to be much happier and kept asking him to give my ej back..

pop on 12 sept.. :D

in the train yesterday he said that rather than saving the money for guitar,he would save it for something else..he said the guitar will be bought after being stable..for now,he'll just buy effect..and so i asked him where would the saved money go to?and i found myself smiling oh so happily...thank you...

im wondering wat reason to give for 12 sept to apply leave..the fact that in need of manpower is so important and taking leave wld be a hassle..and i cant say i have to attend to bf's pop..eventhough they all noe that ej's in ns..i should think that would be an in appropriate reason..so tell me...wat do i say...??and i can't wait to see u on friday..or maybe saturday...or maybe sunday..we'll see if time let us...

happy wednesday,huney..