.you.will.always.be.my.baby.

running thru my head..

i had been feeling depressed lately..with no appetite to eat and always feel so lethargic..breakdowns for no reason and always a dread to do something..all i wanna do is to coop myself in my room,lie on the bed and just stare at the empty ceiling above me..reason for it all?i have no idea..prolly ej and his rifleman thingy..or maybe i just feel so tired every single day from work and not having enuf rest makes all problems pile on my shoulders...i've been popping piriton pills just to have a good sleep..no,not addicted yet..

talked to mum about ej abt him being a rifleman and how disappointed i am in meeting him only on weekends..mum said that if i really wanna be with him,i gotta have patience and i gotta endure..mum says that he's suffering and i gotta give my support..i said that he's not the only one as im suffering too..and i noe that i'll be damn upset if i dun get to see him during weekends..for 2months i've endured that weekends thingy..and now for the rest of his ns life i gotta endure as well..sigh..i do wanna be with him..but it's tough,balls...it's realli an obstacle..

ej's dad and i talked over the fone..it was nice talking to him as whenever i go over to his place,i find myself being shy to talk informally with his dad..somewat awkward..prolly the lack of a male figure in life had made me feel distanced and weird when talking to a fatherly person..but his dad had made me feel comfortable in talking to him over the fone as we talked about ej and all..

ej got back from cmpb and had his x ray of his knee done..we talked over the fone since morning..an awesome morning for me,i'd say..can't wait to see him soon..

with love,dids.