.on.the.fourth.of.march.two.thousand.and.nine.

how do i say it..where should i start..

"just forget it.everything's over,okay..just forget about it all.."i see myself staring at the monitor..yet wat i saw; blank and my vision got blurry as drops of tears rolled down my cheeks."what have i done?the best?"i saw myself asking.i wouldn't be surprised if i see myself chasing after him again and eating my own words a few days/weeks later..but i noe that i'm tired of chasing after him..so i dun think that will happen anymore...

to have someone listen to my words and the least to understand my situation was very hard to come by..as i called out his name,only to hear the dead silence.thinking he was asleep and being frustrated as whatever i said was all wasted,i hung up and called again..asking.."were u asleep?"..and the response he gave just made me raging mad..i was disappointed..u said that u cant even remember eventhough it was sheer 2 seconds ago..and all the answers i needed the whole day..ur reply was that u don't even noe..so how am i to get assurance from u?

all these while it had always been the same answers u gave me..and all this while i held on by assuring myself that u are truly the one..that u're the one that make miracles happen and u're the only one i believe in..the one that i can be hopeful for for anything.but wat happens if one day it all had vanish into thin air?wat happened to the person i hope for?and it all had become such fallen hopes all over again..

suffering is wat's been through..and i complied..to compromise..to hold on..to go thru thick and thin together..regardless we'll love each other..and every-single-thing i've told u and u've told me..but i dun need myself to suffer anymore..i took this choice to go thru this with u..but i dun expect to make myself be in a position where i'll suffer much more than i already am.the pain is unbearable.i can't do this.

and u not assuring me anymore or at all..it made things harder...as now we're letting go..
i hope after the rank that u've got,well..may the best be with u..

my love for u had never been gone..but if i were to choose between happiness or more sufferings?i would choose the former..coz i can't take the latter anymore..not when it's gonna be worst than wat i've been through..

i've always loved you,baby..but loving someone is not the only answer to a happy ending..
now,be good.

p/s: a day late but anyhoos..A BIG SHOUTOUT TO HAFIZ THE UNCLE..HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!