.lie.to.my.face.

a woman's instinct's usually correct.

i finished work early and went outta office by 7.15am..took the train which was packed and i knew that i don't wanna be home early..coz that's when it'll all hit me and i'll think about it all..alighted at bugis,took 12 home..

i stare into nothingness and everything came slowly to my mind..i stopped myself from crying..in fact nothing came to my eyes..it wasnt tired,neither teary..i was just..felt like a stone.i reminisced,thinking of all the things that we've done..the sacrifices we made..how we suffered..and now it's all left to waste..

once i reached home after that hour long journey,i tried calling.line was cut off,note to self to pay once midnight strikes.i went to my room,feeling so dazed..i sat on my bed..that was when i let myself cry..

violently my body shook and hot tears streamed my face..i rocked myself as my lungs tighten to the multiple chokes and i lost it all.lost myself as i felt that the person crying is not me..scared myself,actually..coz it was all so horribly cried,somewhat.crying for a loss.yet..it shouldn't have been this way..

a good 20mins of crying(not that i timed myself,just that i think it's that long)as i knew i had no control over it at all anymore...i tried counting 1-10..i was still shaking badly and wailing..i felt possessed.but i noe it's just emotions overcoming my sanity.i finally knew wat's the best remedy...of prayers..as i rocked my body and selawat...after wat it seems like a very long time since i did that..i called God for help..i repeated the prayer i knew best...and it all soothed me..finally i stopped.and trust me,i've nvr felt so calm..

rite now i'm still clueless of wat to do..and i think time will tell..one fine day..hopefully..and then..i'll be okay..

coz u've hurt me too much..