where do we go from here..
im sick as hell yet im at work right now..came,dumped my bag on the table before i ran out again to puke.fug...when i came back,i was so happy coz i didnt see any files on my table..which means,no work?!?!only when i head to the room was i informed to do other stuff...for the CLAIMS dept.since when im working for them??fug..some stupid work of filing.fug..im dreading to do it..i just finished one pile,while there's 28923489725 more piles to go..okay..exaggerating there..
ej woke me up just now..and then he sounded pissed..myself with sleepy voice asked him wats wrong,didnt wanna tell me...until when i just applied my eye make-up did he tell me...
"baby..im gng brunei 2 days before valentine's..."
*speechless*
since when time pass by so quickly?omg..i was crying..note,eyeliner,mascara,okay...im not upset about not celebrating valentine's with him...hell,we've had too many occassions we celebrated this month itself...im just upset coz he'll be gone for like 15days...in a foreign land and how am i to survive?who'll wake me up before 5pm everyday?who'll talk to me once i finish work and add on to my bimbotic-ness?who'll call randomly or text me???i cant do this..seriously i cant..hence i told him that i cant talk to him and shall just call me back later...
did he call?did i call?
no.
coz we both noe we're both too upset about it.
he had always said that ns is hard...army is so hard..all these complaints before pop..sure..i could somehow feel how pressurised he is..but after from a rifleman he downpas to storeman due to his ligament injury,it is much simpler.regardless,babe..watever that affects him during ns,it affects me too..watever that he thinks is so fucked up,it affects me too...if he were to say that he is suffering...baby,im suffering too..and i've been suffering coz it aches so bad to just see you once a week,babe...fugging once a week.coz sunday u book in again..and we spend the whole saturday tog...is that enuf?heck no.and now u're gng off for 15 days..sure it's JUST 15 days..but it's not the same and wont be the same...i have nobody to blame except the saf.i have nobody to blame except them.but can i blame them?no.so let me be the brat that i gotta be and blame it on you.or me instead.fug.im just too upset about it i dun even feel like celebrating our 1 year come saturday.i just dun feel like seeing you again anytime soon...coz i cant see you for 15 days..wat difference does it make.fuck hell breaks loose and fucking fuck that bull.
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