i miss my dad..it's been about 8 years,2 months since he left..well,passed on..and i would say at times i tend to forget about him..but when i think about him,i miss him so damn much..it's been a long time since i talked about him..and now,his twinkling eyes set upon my mind,right smack in the middle of work.hence i could no longer do work no more..
a very humble and generous person with lines that crease whenever he smiles..a good thing,as i noe he had lived his life in this world..i remembered hating the fact that if ever God were to love him more,wat about us?as selfish as that sounds and as astray i was towards religion,he was the only person that i miss and love so much,apart from mum..
no words could actually express how much he had meant to me and how he had made each of us to be as pious as he was..yet,things tend to fade..hence ceased..i wonder..would my feelings be the same as those whose parents had divorced?i think it'd be different..due to the fact that each parent are still living...yes,i hate to hear families get separated..not by God's will but their own..coz they dun even noe how much it means to still have both figure by their side..i envy and i wish that there's someone there that i could call 'dad'..coz i miss that..yet,nobody could ever replace the love my own dad had for us family...especially me..
from my upbringing to the morales he had taught..i had it all in mind..instilled in one's heart..but as mature and wiser one gets..wat about the past that had taught us?that had trained us?tends to forget..hence mistakes..hence regrets..and i wonder..does dad look upon me whenever i do any sins?an unperfect person with flaws that will always make mistake,regardless how pious you are..will i be forgiven?from my own dad?from God?
i wonder if dad were to still be alive,would he be happy of how our family had achieved..with eldest sister having 3 kids and pipi having 1 and marrying george..with brother working in qatar,and myself..well able to feed and fend myself now..and mum?ur everlasting love for her as u show how much u love her openly..he love kids..i remember,dad..you love ur sibling's grandchildren..yet u were unable to see nor touch ur own grandchildren..wat more love..but dad,they noe who u are..and i bet when they were born,i noe u're smiling..coz u saw them..and u'll protect us...and u'll noe for sure how much we've all loved u as much as how God took u away from us...i love you,dad..and in forever times,i'll say it all over again..all over again...and that,i miss you..
to those who still have both parents...you wouldnt noe when's the time they'll be gone..or when you'll be gone..take it from me,it's nvr and wont be the same losing someone u love..especially when he was the one who held you once you were born..forgive..cherish..love..embrace them..coz u live life once..and when they're gone,there's no turning back.
ayah,remember this?
*pinches nose..*
"SNORES LOUDLY"
i realli miss you...
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