aaaaawwwwww..... :D
working here is such a pleasant experience..with great colleagues,smoke buddies and team leaders,few politics and whole lotta bitchings,i sure do love it..the lady next to me,khim is a sweetie..she's in her late forties...she's full of gusto and a 'gangster' as she like to tease ppl and playfully scold others..wonderful and a lovely 'mum' to me..she takes care of me when im not feeling well,getting me things to make me better without myself knowing...
just now,during lunch mum cooked sausages,scrambled eggs and mixed vegetables..so everything was mixed together..i ate,tasted so nice..i was craving for more..yet,suddenly my tummy hurts real bad..yea,all over again..that ordeal of myself gng to the toilet to shit,yet nothing could come out of it.alas i puked everything out..sorry,ma..it's my tummy...:(
after telling khim about it and telling her i dare nt eat solid food anymore,she got up..came back with a bowl of oats and had sprinkled bits of cereal on it...swweet!!!!i swear i was so surprised,yet so touched...:) thank you so much...thanks,'mother'..hurhur...and yes,now it's half empty and my tummy feels better..mothers are the best..and nobody could replace my own mother's love and care..it's all beyond words...:)
yesterday he called..damn early at 7plus in the evening..was still doing work..and so we talked and gosh..i missed him so much..and yes,he missed me too...i was practically stopping myself from getting too overjoyed..coz i can't be jumping up and down like wat i did at loading bay the other time..but baby,i missed u..and still am..2 more days,babes...2 more whooping days...and he'll be fetching me at loading bay on saturday after work...
*dances around*
06 Don't Forget.wma
Thursday, July 31, 2008
.god.all.the.rage.
it didn't start off good..
i hate the ppl working for ns,under call centre..they are rude,impatient and expect ppl to understand their system when they dun even explain how it goes at the first place.so rude.so fucking rude.firstly they rush in their answer to my query.then when i asked them to repeat coz i didnt catch wat they were saying,they get impatient.and then i would talk to them nicely still,only then they tone down a little bit.and when i make another query,they lash again.fuck you,la..how can u be at the frontline if u're rude?blardy effers..so wat if u're working for the national service thingy..it's not like as if u gotta march everyday and u are being trained like how the ns boys do,wat..kaoz..talk nicely.u're under customer service.talk fucking nicely.assholes.
called on bf's behalf to ask about his pay as there was a mistake made.can't expect him to call himself when he gets the fone only after working hours and there's no internet there.how stupid can they get when i made a general enquiry,the staff said "no,he has to call personally." and when i explain that i just wanna noe how long does it take,they wouldn't tell me.and it's common sense to understand that he can't call.how stupid can they get?im so annoyed and disgusted.honestly!and alas,knowing that im gonna be a bitch and wont end the call until i get the answer,only then did they tell me.fuck.so annoying.it's just a stupid general question,nothing p&c.fuckinghell..
im not in a good mood at all.i was late for work,i took coffee at only 10.30,nobody had answered my calls eventhough i've been trying to call each and everyone and my data's finishing.fuck!!!!!!!!!!!
on a brighter note,let's wear that red top on saturday..-_____- i have no mood to even turn myself on.
happy thursday,AAAAAAAHHHHHHH FFFUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!(i still have not unleashed all the vulgarities i need to let out.)
i hate the ppl working for ns,under call centre..they are rude,impatient and expect ppl to understand their system when they dun even explain how it goes at the first place.so rude.so fucking rude.firstly they rush in their answer to my query.then when i asked them to repeat coz i didnt catch wat they were saying,they get impatient.and then i would talk to them nicely still,only then they tone down a little bit.and when i make another query,they lash again.fuck you,la..how can u be at the frontline if u're rude?blardy effers..so wat if u're working for the national service thingy..it's not like as if u gotta march everyday and u are being trained like how the ns boys do,wat..kaoz..talk nicely.u're under customer service.talk fucking nicely.assholes.
called on bf's behalf to ask about his pay as there was a mistake made.can't expect him to call himself when he gets the fone only after working hours and there's no internet there.how stupid can they get when i made a general enquiry,the staff said "no,he has to call personally." and when i explain that i just wanna noe how long does it take,they wouldn't tell me.and it's common sense to understand that he can't call.how stupid can they get?im so annoyed and disgusted.honestly!and alas,knowing that im gonna be a bitch and wont end the call until i get the answer,only then did they tell me.fuck.so annoying.it's just a stupid general question,nothing p&c.fuckinghell..
im not in a good mood at all.i was late for work,i took coffee at only 10.30,nobody had answered my calls eventhough i've been trying to call each and everyone and my data's finishing.fuck!!!!!!!!!!!
on a brighter note,let's wear that red top on saturday..-_____- i have no mood to even turn myself on.
happy thursday,AAAAAAAHHHHHHH FFFUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!(i still have not unleashed all the vulgarities i need to let out.)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
.to.my.soldier.
reminiscing...
i miss those times walking aimlessly to nowhere,hand in hand we walked and laughed at people around us..i miss those times where he fetches me at the void deck,waiting patiently althou i was late..i miss those times i see him on stage,performing with shadows embrace and headbanging to the songs they played..i miss those times he would hold my hips randomly and calling me his baby..i miss those times at lanson where we drink our night away,talking about life and the obstacles we used to face..i miss those times seeing his eyes lit up at the smallest things that could make him happy..i miss those times witnessing his big laughter as his frens made a joke and him being amused so much by it..i miss those times he would patiently tell me and explain the reasons for things im unsure of..i miss those times where i'll be embarrassed and still he held me close coz he's still there for me..i miss those times where he hug me at random timing in front of all our frens at the gig...i miss those times sniffing his arm wherever we would be coz that's the closest thing that's level to my face..i miss those times snuggling up next to him and pout my lips when he tease me about the antics i used to make..i miss him kissing me better and hold me like a fragile child just to show how much he cares and soothing he can be...i miss those times where we shout randomly for no apparent reason and saying our 'hellos' to strangers coz we wanna amuse each other...i miss him...yes,i miss him...
i shall make up for yesterday by planning something when he books out on saturday... :)
i miss those times walking aimlessly to nowhere,hand in hand we walked and laughed at people around us..i miss those times where he fetches me at the void deck,waiting patiently althou i was late..i miss those times i see him on stage,performing with shadows embrace and headbanging to the songs they played..i miss those times he would hold my hips randomly and calling me his baby..i miss those times at lanson where we drink our night away,talking about life and the obstacles we used to face..i miss those times seeing his eyes lit up at the smallest things that could make him happy..i miss those times witnessing his big laughter as his frens made a joke and him being amused so much by it..i miss those times he would patiently tell me and explain the reasons for things im unsure of..i miss those times where i'll be embarrassed and still he held me close coz he's still there for me..i miss those times where he hug me at random timing in front of all our frens at the gig...i miss those times sniffing his arm wherever we would be coz that's the closest thing that's level to my face..i miss those times snuggling up next to him and pout my lips when he tease me about the antics i used to make..i miss him kissing me better and hold me like a fragile child just to show how much he cares and soothing he can be...i miss those times where we shout randomly for no apparent reason and saying our 'hellos' to strangers coz we wanna amuse each other...i miss him...yes,i miss him...
i shall make up for yesterday by planning something when he books out on saturday... :)
'every human always talk about the past or future.we don't normally talk about the present.'
.as.time.ticks.it.suddenly.stop.like.a.heart.beating.and.the.machine.showed.a.line.
and i'm sorry,love...
yesterday i intended to post one of my bitch-lashing entry..however too much profanity used and loads of crude remarks.hence,i closed the window and decided not to post it.the reason for the entry?well coz i'm sick and tired of reading my own words being written on other ppl's blog.as in they literally copy and paste my sentences and make it seem as though it's their own.and they did not spare my principles of life..that is 'belief,faith and trust'. they tainted the meaning and they use it as thou they believe in it too..when by actual fact i strongly place those principles in my 21 yrs of life.and i should be the only one who understands the meaning behind those three words.
wat do one understand about it?i shall not explain.coz it's for my own understanding.well,let's just say it's very much direct in the meaning.but they type it down as thou it's just a sentence.a sentence with no meaning.how pathetic can ur life get?and i remembered i posted an entry in my spaces.live.com where i placed my thoughts about the word 'forever' and how i dun believe in that.hence i would use the word 'always'.waddya noe..they copied the whole sentence of the meaning of 'always' into their blog and make it seem as though the sentence came from their intelligent mind.kapeesh!!!honestly you're just making yourself very pathetic..talk about originality..!!!
-__- and yes,actual fact,im only talking about one person.not many.just one.and i wonder how far u'll go along copying my words.shame on you..seriously.
anw,yesterday i took time off as i couldn't take my menses cramps anymore.the excruciating pain made me crouch low while talking to policyholders and i felt so weak.by 4pm i decided to go off.i rested and slept till past 7pm and there,i waited for his call.by 9.30 i was already fidgety..kept checking my mobile,no miss calls,nothing.then it went past 10pm.i knew he wont call.
i texted darf n asked if sufi had called her as bf and sufi are in the same camp..decided to call her."babe...ej tried to call u many times..but he couldn't get thru..." wtf!!!omg..i cried there and then..while talking to her,my fone beeped in which 7 texts came in..i didnt noe wat was gng on.."he said that he misses u so much and he realli wanna hear ur voice..but he can't get thru..something wrong with ur fone.."after she gave some comforting words,we ended the call and i checked my texts..3 from ej and another 4 from pipi,tsue,mil and naz.i read thru..gosh..the text from tsue should've been received at 4+ in the afternoon..realised it must have been starhub problem..that typical lagging in receiving texts and calls..comfort calls thanks to tsue and pipi..ej actually called pipi and asked darf to ask tsue..oh god..i am so sorry..i cried myself to sleep as i knew we both had missed each other..and it was my fault that we didnt get to talk..i blame myself..im sorry..i buried my face in his shirt and fell aslp,still i teared..
happy wednesday,babes..
yesterday i intended to post one of my bitch-lashing entry..however too much profanity used and loads of crude remarks.hence,i closed the window and decided not to post it.the reason for the entry?well coz i'm sick and tired of reading my own words being written on other ppl's blog.as in they literally copy and paste my sentences and make it seem as though it's their own.and they did not spare my principles of life..that is 'belief,faith and trust'. they tainted the meaning and they use it as thou they believe in it too..when by actual fact i strongly place those principles in my 21 yrs of life.and i should be the only one who understands the meaning behind those three words.
'my words are my emotions,my weapons of ammunition.'
wat do one understand about it?i shall not explain.coz it's for my own understanding.well,let's just say it's very much direct in the meaning.but they type it down as thou it's just a sentence.a sentence with no meaning.how pathetic can ur life get?and i remembered i posted an entry in my spaces.live.com where i placed my thoughts about the word 'forever' and how i dun believe in that.hence i would use the word 'always'.waddya noe..they copied the whole sentence of the meaning of 'always' into their blog and make it seem as though the sentence came from their intelligent mind.kapeesh!!!honestly you're just making yourself very pathetic..talk about originality..!!!
-__- and yes,actual fact,im only talking about one person.not many.just one.and i wonder how far u'll go along copying my words.shame on you..seriously.
anw,yesterday i took time off as i couldn't take my menses cramps anymore.the excruciating pain made me crouch low while talking to policyholders and i felt so weak.by 4pm i decided to go off.i rested and slept till past 7pm and there,i waited for his call.by 9.30 i was already fidgety..kept checking my mobile,no miss calls,nothing.then it went past 10pm.i knew he wont call.
i texted darf n asked if sufi had called her as bf and sufi are in the same camp..decided to call her."babe...ej tried to call u many times..but he couldn't get thru..." wtf!!!omg..i cried there and then..while talking to her,my fone beeped in which 7 texts came in..i didnt noe wat was gng on.."he said that he misses u so much and he realli wanna hear ur voice..but he can't get thru..something wrong with ur fone.."after she gave some comforting words,we ended the call and i checked my texts..3 from ej and another 4 from pipi,tsue,mil and naz.i read thru..gosh..the text from tsue should've been received at 4+ in the afternoon..realised it must have been starhub problem..that typical lagging in receiving texts and calls..comfort calls thanks to tsue and pipi..ej actually called pipi and asked darf to ask tsue..oh god..i am so sorry..i cried myself to sleep as i knew we both had missed each other..and it was my fault that we didnt get to talk..i blame myself..im sorry..i buried my face in his shirt and fell aslp,still i teared..
happy wednesday,babes..
Monday, July 28, 2008
.go.away.
tummy pangs??well it was actually cramps...
excruciating cramps more like it.yea...red dot day has come..and im feeling ever so damn pms-y.and i almost lashed on this impatient policyholder who was being an ass to me.but i didn't.almost,but didn't.normal procedure of what i would've done:
1) call ej.
2) complain to him.
3) have a fag.
i only carried out no.3 and im feeling so damn shitty and full angst.and yes,this is the time where i need ej the most coz i noe i will have breakdowns for no apparent reasons and i'll feel very,very angry most of the time,for no reason.and he'll always be there to cool me down or to distract me from feeling all those wrath.it's hard for me to control..i could nvr be able to control..coz the more i try,the more it gets worse.trust my words.or u can ask anyone that noes me.i really need him at this point of time...and yes,today's ONLY monday.-___________-
excruciating cramps more like it.yea...red dot day has come..and im feeling ever so damn pms-y.and i almost lashed on this impatient policyholder who was being an ass to me.but i didn't.almost,but didn't.normal procedure of what i would've done:
1) call ej.
2) complain to him.
3) have a fag.
i only carried out no.3 and im feeling so damn shitty and full angst.and yes,this is the time where i need ej the most coz i noe i will have breakdowns for no apparent reasons and i'll feel very,very angry most of the time,for no reason.and he'll always be there to cool me down or to distract me from feeling all those wrath.it's hard for me to control..i could nvr be able to control..coz the more i try,the more it gets worse.trust my words.or u can ask anyone that noes me.i really need him at this point of time...and yes,today's ONLY monday.-___________-
.hopes.and.dreams.
continuation from previous entry..
so me and ej went all the way to substation from memo to withdraw some cash..and i already felt like fainting..black spots were covering my vision and i was having cold sweats..he kept holding me and asked me to grip his arm just so that any slack in energy,he noes when to grab me i guess..decided to cab to our destination which costs ten freaking bucks when without the surcharge it would've been prolly $7plus only.
finally our bodies met as we hugged and our tongue lashes.okay.no details,shall we?the night was well spent as i lied in his arms,yes on his chest where i missed the most as that's my comfort spot whenever we sleep together.and throut the night we talked and held each other..in the morning,he was dead asleep in my arms instead and yes,there was a pool of "water" on my chest..he blardy drooled.hahahahah...how cute..yet,eeks!!hurhur..he himself was so embarrassed..but baby,come on..it's normal..to drool on ppl's body..-_____________-
we realli spent a great night and morning..and it was awesome as we talked and laughed and poked each other,watching our antics and laughing about it..u silly boy..then after,we went off for home..
.sunday afternoon.
woke up pretty late and realied i overslept when i was suppose to accompany pipi yet she was quite mad i couldn't make it.my tummy was being an ass again,hence was contemplating whether to still send ej off or not..i endured and got ready and off i went outta the house.he called,knowing i was in so much pain and told me that he'll come over instead and from my place he'll head to chua chu kang,to his camp.but i was out already and i didnt mind gng over to yishun then to cck to send him..everywhere i go,i see army boys..at the int,in the bus,at yishun...everywhere.and i noe i had to prepare to bid him gdbye..i held back my tears as i visioned wat will happen later on..he met me at the bus stop in yishun and we proceed to the train station.it was so hard not being able to hold him again,or anymore..he was coaxing me as i was already near tears while waiting for his bus to camp.i noe he didn't wanna see me upset..but i just dun want him to go..but he have to..i noe..as he board the bus and i was at the traffic light,he saw me wiping my tears away..im sorry u had to see it..honestly i thought u were far from my view..but u saw everything..i'm sorry..i didnt mean to cry..
went to whitesands from cck..gosh!!the journey!!thank god i had my mp3 and book with me..had dinner with pipi and left for home..
i would like to say my thanks to my babes for being there for me during that 2 weeks..tsue,pipi,rai,fhil,darf,nazeerah,masirah and johnny..you guys were my pillars when i fall..you guys were the ones who had given me helpful advices and support..nothing can show my gratitude nor repay your kindness.but for now,i would like to thank you..for keeping me strong,for listening to me whenever i cry or miss him..for making me stand here still,though still weak,yet stronger...thank you,thank you,thank you for filling those days without emptiness..
as i woke up just now..i knew i had a very bad,disturbing dream..it's not easy dreaming about the things i fear the most..nor the things that i wish not to happen..the things that i've dreaded so much..and yet,how do i ask him?i wouldn't wanna agitate him nor to make him think that i'm paranoid for thinking/dreaming about it.but it realli affects me..and i wish i could ask him now to noe the answer...it's affecting me real bad..
i realised it's harder when i've just met him,yet he's gone again..that 2 weeks i pulled myself thorough..then on friday i released all those times of being strong hence i depended on him without realising..and then now,it kinda came back to square one..but hey..i'll be seeing him again this saturday,rite?and on each and every saturday..so smile,didi..smile..
happy monday,loves.
so me and ej went all the way to substation from memo to withdraw some cash..and i already felt like fainting..black spots were covering my vision and i was having cold sweats..he kept holding me and asked me to grip his arm just so that any slack in energy,he noes when to grab me i guess..decided to cab to our destination which costs ten freaking bucks when without the surcharge it would've been prolly $7plus only.
finally our bodies met as we hugged and our tongue lashes.okay.no details,shall we?the night was well spent as i lied in his arms,yes on his chest where i missed the most as that's my comfort spot whenever we sleep together.and throut the night we talked and held each other..in the morning,he was dead asleep in my arms instead and yes,there was a pool of "water" on my chest..he blardy drooled.hahahahah...how cute..yet,eeks!!hurhur..he himself was so embarrassed..but baby,come on..it's normal..to drool on ppl's body..-_____________-
we realli spent a great night and morning..and it was awesome as we talked and laughed and poked each other,watching our antics and laughing about it..u silly boy..then after,we went off for home..
.sunday afternoon.
woke up pretty late and realied i overslept when i was suppose to accompany pipi yet she was quite mad i couldn't make it.my tummy was being an ass again,hence was contemplating whether to still send ej off or not..i endured and got ready and off i went outta the house.he called,knowing i was in so much pain and told me that he'll come over instead and from my place he'll head to chua chu kang,to his camp.but i was out already and i didnt mind gng over to yishun then to cck to send him..everywhere i go,i see army boys..at the int,in the bus,at yishun...everywhere.and i noe i had to prepare to bid him gdbye..i held back my tears as i visioned wat will happen later on..he met me at the bus stop in yishun and we proceed to the train station.it was so hard not being able to hold him again,or anymore..he was coaxing me as i was already near tears while waiting for his bus to camp.i noe he didn't wanna see me upset..but i just dun want him to go..but he have to..i noe..as he board the bus and i was at the traffic light,he saw me wiping my tears away..im sorry u had to see it..honestly i thought u were far from my view..but u saw everything..i'm sorry..i didnt mean to cry..
went to whitesands from cck..gosh!!the journey!!thank god i had my mp3 and book with me..had dinner with pipi and left for home..
i would like to say my thanks to my babes for being there for me during that 2 weeks..tsue,pipi,rai,fhil,darf,nazeerah,masirah and johnny..you guys were my pillars when i fall..you guys were the ones who had given me helpful advices and support..nothing can show my gratitude nor repay your kindness.but for now,i would like to thank you..for keeping me strong,for listening to me whenever i cry or miss him..for making me stand here still,though still weak,yet stronger...thank you,thank you,thank you for filling those days without emptiness..
as i woke up just now..i knew i had a very bad,disturbing dream..it's not easy dreaming about the things i fear the most..nor the things that i wish not to happen..the things that i've dreaded so much..and yet,how do i ask him?i wouldn't wanna agitate him nor to make him think that i'm paranoid for thinking/dreaming about it.but it realli affects me..and i wish i could ask him now to noe the answer...it's affecting me real bad..
i realised it's harder when i've just met him,yet he's gone again..that 2 weeks i pulled myself thorough..then on friday i released all those times of being strong hence i depended on him without realising..and then now,it kinda came back to square one..but hey..i'll be seeing him again this saturday,rite?and on each and every saturday..so smile,didi..smile..
happy monday,loves.
.wishes.wishing.wished.
it's not that easy...
.friday.
that night,awesome.he fetched me at loading bay..nazeerah was the sweetest as she accompanied me while waiting for him.him in his army uniform..gah!!so hot!!!and yes,he's sssoo much darker now..hurhur..and so he took the risk and we hugged for the longest time...gosh..the hug that i've been waiitng for..finally...and so he went over to my area and we bought mcdees..sat at the void deck after grabbing the bag from my house and passed him the gifts i've been getting for him.yes,a whole lot.ha...and yes,he loved it.sadly,we couldnt kiss nor hug that much..coz of him in his uniform..i held myself back whenever i had the urge to throw him a hug..coz i wouldnt wanna get him in trouble..but it was really hard when there he was in front me,yet the distance's killing me...precious,i love you..
.saturday.
woke up in the morning and rushed to the shower.off i went to his place as he fetched me at the void deck in his army running singlet and yes,check out the body,balls..hot,hot,heat.his mum greeted me with warmth and the grandma with an awaiting smile.and so we chat and laughed and his mum shared some stories..ej's realli glad his mum likes me..apparently to him,his mum loves me.kapeesh!!well honestly i feel glad myself.and so we went off in the afternoon for my appointment at raffles for my haircut.
he was stoning away in the train..and soon after he fell asleep,with his head lolling and it's obvious that he was dead to the world..i feel quite upset and guilty somehow..i bet he needed his rest but instead he was out with me..and i was kinda quiet,hence he knew somthing's wrong..without myself explaining anything,he just said.."baby,just now was just a power nap..and i won't be tired when i'm with u..so dun feel sad,okay?"thank you for those words..i'm realli appreaciative of him..he noes me well as i dun need words to express my emotions or feelings...thank you..
and so,the haircut was BAD.pipi's personal hairdresser literally chop off my bangs when i told her to trim it.and so now,i look realli weird.."not as bad as you think.."mar,my colleague told me..but i realli feel ugly.ej said i looked cute.baby,i dun wanna look cute.i wanna look like how i had in my head.isit so hard to understand the word 'trim??"i was awfully upset and called pipi..there i teared.yes,im very anal about my hair..the slightest mistake could make me so disappointed and change my view about the hairdresser.after the haircut,we bumped into aji at the platform.sweet enuf to make me feel better by showing off his hair..and he said that his looks ten times worse..and ej and him were trying to persuade me that it looks fine..i was already contemplating to buy a cap.seriously.
went to tan tock seng hosp to visit my colleague,mas..me and ej were lazing at the chair and we all talked and laughed till finally we decided to have dinner and mit zul.
at burger king..
"baby,u noe all those times when i told u i've had enuf and i can't take it anymore with u...?well,those 2 weeks made me realise how much i really do need you and how u've always been there for me..thanks,baby..."in the midst of having my mouth agape to savour that burger(not romantic at all)i teared..i wouldn't be this strong if not for his words each night..im reali grateful that i have him..and i would wanna be with him,all the time..and im doing all this,of holding on,of being strong and being supportive just for our future...future that holds,where no one noes..yet,we planned and we kept faith..
met zul,and him being shocked coz baby's so dark...off we went to city hall to watch fireworks..packed with human congestion and my tummy's feeling funny..it's been 2 weeks already that my tummy has pangs..and i noe i had to endure..went to the end of esplanade like how it used to be back then..nys and zahid came by and then the rest came..faat,raymond,epul,azri,akram and the others..i dun think there's a need in noting their names down..me and faat entertained ej by dancing like how the back-up vocals dances..and we were singing along to the live band that was playing at the waterfront.i put on a fake smile and fake self when actually my tummy was at its worst.
headed to memo and chilled there instead and ej tried akram's huge ass scrambler..yes,he looked hot.my bf,that is..and so we talked and faat was the main entertainer...police cars came and screened us as that was their routine..obviously we were all over age and we were not doing anything wrong..so we were cool about it.i was the only girl among the rest of the guys..and i was the last one where the policeman handed my ic back.yet,the fact that my photo was obviously "female",he shouted my name,in search of me,when i was prominent from where he's standing.and yes,they all laughed about it.i forced each to say my nickname when me and ej went off bfore saying gdbye..coz imagine all those mockery i got that night,balls.thanks,mr policeman.-_________________-
too darn long entry..
.friday.
that night,awesome.he fetched me at loading bay..nazeerah was the sweetest as she accompanied me while waiting for him.him in his army uniform..gah!!so hot!!!and yes,he's sssoo much darker now..hurhur..and so he took the risk and we hugged for the longest time...gosh..the hug that i've been waiitng for..finally...and so he went over to my area and we bought mcdees..sat at the void deck after grabbing the bag from my house and passed him the gifts i've been getting for him.yes,a whole lot.ha...and yes,he loved it.sadly,we couldnt kiss nor hug that much..coz of him in his uniform..i held myself back whenever i had the urge to throw him a hug..coz i wouldnt wanna get him in trouble..but it was really hard when there he was in front me,yet the distance's killing me...precious,i love you..
.saturday.
woke up in the morning and rushed to the shower.off i went to his place as he fetched me at the void deck in his army running singlet and yes,check out the body,balls..hot,hot,heat.his mum greeted me with warmth and the grandma with an awaiting smile.and so we chat and laughed and his mum shared some stories..ej's realli glad his mum likes me..apparently to him,his mum loves me.kapeesh!!well honestly i feel glad myself.and so we went off in the afternoon for my appointment at raffles for my haircut.
he was stoning away in the train..and soon after he fell asleep,with his head lolling and it's obvious that he was dead to the world..i feel quite upset and guilty somehow..i bet he needed his rest but instead he was out with me..and i was kinda quiet,hence he knew somthing's wrong..without myself explaining anything,he just said.."baby,just now was just a power nap..and i won't be tired when i'm with u..so dun feel sad,okay?"thank you for those words..i'm realli appreaciative of him..he noes me well as i dun need words to express my emotions or feelings...thank you..
and so,the haircut was BAD.pipi's personal hairdresser literally chop off my bangs when i told her to trim it.and so now,i look realli weird.."not as bad as you think.."mar,my colleague told me..but i realli feel ugly.ej said i looked cute.baby,i dun wanna look cute.i wanna look like how i had in my head.isit so hard to understand the word 'trim??"i was awfully upset and called pipi..there i teared.yes,im very anal about my hair..the slightest mistake could make me so disappointed and change my view about the hairdresser.after the haircut,we bumped into aji at the platform.sweet enuf to make me feel better by showing off his hair..and he said that his looks ten times worse..and ej and him were trying to persuade me that it looks fine..i was already contemplating to buy a cap.seriously.
went to tan tock seng hosp to visit my colleague,mas..me and ej were lazing at the chair and we all talked and laughed till finally we decided to have dinner and mit zul.
at burger king..
"baby,u noe all those times when i told u i've had enuf and i can't take it anymore with u...?well,those 2 weeks made me realise how much i really do need you and how u've always been there for me..thanks,baby..."in the midst of having my mouth agape to savour that burger(not romantic at all)i teared..i wouldn't be this strong if not for his words each night..im reali grateful that i have him..and i would wanna be with him,all the time..and im doing all this,of holding on,of being strong and being supportive just for our future...future that holds,where no one noes..yet,we planned and we kept faith..
met zul,and him being shocked coz baby's so dark...off we went to city hall to watch fireworks..packed with human congestion and my tummy's feeling funny..it's been 2 weeks already that my tummy has pangs..and i noe i had to endure..went to the end of esplanade like how it used to be back then..nys and zahid came by and then the rest came..faat,raymond,epul,azri,akram and the others..i dun think there's a need in noting their names down..me and faat entertained ej by dancing like how the back-up vocals dances..and we were singing along to the live band that was playing at the waterfront.i put on a fake smile and fake self when actually my tummy was at its worst.
headed to memo and chilled there instead and ej tried akram's huge ass scrambler..yes,he looked hot.my bf,that is..and so we talked and faat was the main entertainer...police cars came and screened us as that was their routine..obviously we were all over age and we were not doing anything wrong..so we were cool about it.i was the only girl among the rest of the guys..and i was the last one where the policeman handed my ic back.yet,the fact that my photo was obviously "female",he shouted my name,in search of me,when i was prominent from where he's standing.and yes,they all laughed about it.i forced each to say my nickname when me and ej went off bfore saying gdbye..coz imagine all those mockery i got that night,balls.thanks,mr policeman.-_________________-
too darn long entry..
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