.hopes.and.dreams.

continuation from previous entry..

so me and ej went all the way to substation from memo to withdraw some cash..and i already felt like fainting..black spots were covering my vision and i was having cold sweats..he kept holding me and asked me to grip his arm just so that any slack in energy,he noes when to grab me i guess..decided to cab to our destination which costs ten freaking bucks when without the surcharge it would've been prolly $7plus only.

finally our bodies met as we hugged and our tongue lashes.okay.no details,shall we?the night was well spent as i lied in his arms,yes on his chest where i missed the most as that's my comfort spot whenever we sleep together.and throut the night we talked and held each other..in the morning,he was dead asleep in my arms instead and yes,there was a pool of "water" on my chest..he blardy drooled.hahahahah...how cute..yet,eeks!!hurhur..he himself was so embarrassed..but baby,come on..it's normal..to drool on ppl's body..-_____________-
we realli spent a great night and morning..and it was awesome as we talked and laughed and poked each other,watching our antics and laughing about it..u silly boy..then after,we went off for home..

.sunday afternoon.
woke up pretty late and realied i overslept when i was suppose to accompany pipi yet she was quite mad i couldn't make it.my tummy was being an ass again,hence was contemplating whether to still send ej off or not..i endured and got ready and off i went outta the house.he called,knowing i was in so much pain and told me that he'll come over instead and from my place he'll head to chua chu kang,to his camp.but i was out already and i didnt mind gng over to yishun then to cck to send him..everywhere i go,i see army boys..at the int,in the bus,at yishun...everywhere.and i noe i had to prepare to bid him gdbye..i held back my tears as i visioned wat will happen later on..he met me at the bus stop in yishun and we proceed to the train station.it was so hard not being able to hold him again,or anymore..he was coaxing me as i was already near tears while waiting for his bus to camp.i noe he didn't wanna see me upset..but i just dun want him to go..but he have to..i noe..as he board the bus and i was at the traffic light,he saw me wiping my tears away..im sorry u had to see it..honestly i thought u were far from my view..but u saw everything..i'm sorry..i didnt mean to cry..

went to whitesands from cck..gosh!!the journey!!thank god i had my mp3 and book with me..had dinner with pipi and left for home..

i would like to say my thanks to my babes for being there for me during that 2 weeks..tsue,pipi,rai,fhil,darf,nazeerah,masirah and johnny..you guys were my pillars when i fall..you guys were the ones who had given me helpful advices and support..nothing can show my gratitude nor repay your kindness.but for now,i would like to thank you..for keeping me strong,for listening to me whenever i cry or miss him..for making me stand here still,though still weak,yet stronger...thank you,thank you,thank you for filling those days without emptiness..

as i woke up just now..i knew i had a very bad,disturbing dream..it's not easy dreaming about the things i fear the most..nor the things that i wish not to happen..the things that i've dreaded so much..and yet,how do i ask him?i wouldn't wanna agitate him nor to make him think that i'm paranoid for thinking/dreaming about it.but it realli affects me..and i wish i could ask him now to noe the answer...it's affecting me real bad..
i realised it's harder when i've just met him,yet he's gone again..that 2 weeks i pulled myself thorough..then on friday i released all those times of being strong hence i depended on him without realising..and then now,it kinda came back to square one..but hey..i'll be seeing him again this saturday,rite?and on each and every saturday..so smile,didi..smile..

happy monday,loves.