.wishes.wishing.wished.

it's not that easy...

.friday.
that night,awesome.he fetched me at loading bay..nazeerah was the sweetest as she accompanied me while waiting for him.him in his army uniform..gah!!so hot!!!and yes,he's sssoo much darker now..hurhur..and so he took the risk and we hugged for the longest time...gosh..the hug that i've been waiitng for..finally...and so he went over to my area and we bought mcdees..sat at the void deck after grabbing the bag from my house and passed him the gifts i've been getting for him.yes,a whole lot.ha...and yes,he loved it.sadly,we couldnt kiss nor hug that much..coz of him in his uniform..i held myself back whenever i had the urge to throw him a hug..coz i wouldnt wanna get him in trouble..but it was really hard when there he was in front me,yet the distance's killing me...precious,i love you..

.saturday.
woke up in the morning and rushed to the shower.off i went to his place as he fetched me at the void deck in his army running singlet and yes,check out the body,balls..hot,hot,heat.his mum greeted me with warmth and the grandma with an awaiting smile.and so we chat and laughed and his mum shared some stories..ej's realli glad his mum likes me..apparently to him,his mum loves me.kapeesh!!well honestly i feel glad myself.and so we went off in the afternoon for my appointment at raffles for my haircut.
he was stoning away in the train..and soon after he fell asleep,with his head lolling and it's obvious that he was dead to the world..i feel quite upset and guilty somehow..i bet he needed his rest but instead he was out with me..and i was kinda quiet,hence he knew somthing's wrong..without myself explaining anything,he just said.."baby,just now was just a power nap..and i won't be tired when i'm with u..so dun feel sad,okay?"thank you for those words..i'm realli appreaciative of him..he noes me well as i dun need words to express my emotions or feelings...thank you..

and so,the haircut was BAD.pipi's personal hairdresser literally chop off my bangs when i told her to trim it.and so now,i look realli weird.."not as bad as you think.."mar,my colleague told me..but i realli feel ugly.ej said i looked cute.baby,i dun wanna look cute.i wanna look like how i had in my head.isit so hard to understand the word 'trim??"i was awfully upset and called pipi..there i teared.yes,im very anal about my hair..the slightest mistake could make me so disappointed and change my view about the hairdresser.after the haircut,we bumped into aji at the platform.sweet enuf to make me feel better by showing off his hair..and he said that his looks ten times worse..and ej and him were trying to persuade me that it looks fine..i was already contemplating to buy a cap.seriously.
went to tan tock seng hosp to visit my colleague,mas..me and ej were lazing at the chair and we all talked and laughed till finally we decided to have dinner and mit zul.
at burger king..
"baby,u noe all those times when i told u i've had enuf and i can't take it anymore with u...?well,those 2 weeks made me realise how much i really do need you and how u've always been there for me..thanks,baby..."in the midst of having my mouth agape to savour that burger(not romantic at all)i teared..i wouldn't be this strong if not for his words each night..im reali grateful that i have him..and i would wanna be with him,all the time..and im doing all this,of holding on,of being strong and being supportive just for our future...future that holds,where no one noes..yet,we planned and we kept faith..
met zul,and him being shocked coz baby's so dark...off we went to city hall to watch fireworks..packed with human congestion and my tummy's feeling funny..it's been 2 weeks already that my tummy has pangs..and i noe i had to endure..went to the end of esplanade like how it used to be back then..nys and zahid came by and then the rest came..faat,raymond,epul,azri,akram and the others..i dun think there's a need in noting their names down..me and faat entertained ej by dancing like how the back-up vocals dances..and we were singing along to the live band that was playing at the waterfront.i put on a fake smile and fake self when actually my tummy was at its worst.
headed to memo and chilled there instead and ej tried akram's huge ass scrambler..yes,he looked hot.my bf,that is..and so we talked and faat was the main entertainer...police cars came and screened us as that was their routine..obviously we were all over age and we were not doing anything wrong..so we were cool about it.i was the only girl among the rest of the guys..and i was the last one where the policeman handed my ic back.yet,the fact that my photo was obviously "female",he shouted my name,in search of me,when i was prominent from where he's standing.and yes,they all laughed about it.i forced each to say my nickname when me and ej went off bfore saying gdbye..coz imagine all those mockery i got that night,balls.thanks,mr policeman.-_________________-

too darn long entry..