.i.received.the.text.that.you.sent.

freeeeeeezing cold...

sometimes i wish to bring gloves to work..those thick,durian ones or the posh-looking ones..coz it'll always be cold eventhough the temperature had been increased to make it warmer..*teeth chatters*

on monday nite i was taking pics of the three kids..decided for them to play dress up..damn cute!!with their oversized hat,spiky wig that my brother owned for halloween and graduation hat..check out my frenster pics..damn cute,la!!anw,didnt go to work yesterday..i woke up with a throbbing head and found myself seated at the computer at home,gng online..hence uploaded the pics..so lazed at home,with texts from babes and dudes,planning the day to break fast together..so far,4 invites and i dun even noe when i can sssqqquuueeeezzzeee the time with myself working and a need to go geylang to get my other ethnic custome..let's see..nysh and ira,on the 16th,which falls on tsue's bday,but i bet she'll be celebrating with mr arman or her family..so that's fine..then there's rai and fhil..and zul and mil..then,there's johnny and liz..so..10days after pop would be ej's freedom..since he need not book in nor book out..woots to that,but i'll be working..still not enuf time..but it'll be fine..i hope..

ej called last night..and we talked for freaking one hour,balls!!though there were lots of need to hang up to check his rifle with his sargeant.but still!!an hour!!it was great as we didnt get to talk the day bfore..he's so excited for his pop..and i am too..and it was realli nice listening to his voice..at the end of the conversation he sounded so tired..it realli sucks when i dun hear anymore happiness in the call..oh wells..2 more days..then saturday,a whole day with him... :D

just checked my payslip via internet..last month was the most that i ever got thruout working here..i'm very much contented with myself.but once the proposal made by my manager kicks in,i'll get more pay..coolio wakiki..i'm very,very much happy..so let's fill our tummy wummy,pamper ourselves crazy on saturday,shall we??
and yea..woke up at the break of dawn to eat..took out my tongue stud..went to work,lit a fag.DIDI!!!!gah!!!i wonder when will be the first of realli fasting..2mrw??i realli hope so..discipline,didi...so stop chewing on that gum u're eating now!!anw,it was so weird talking to policyholders without any stud in my mouth..i kept slurring and it just felt empty..i guess i'm not used to it...and kerin gave me a star ring..very cute..love it..okay!!2 more days!!and i've just booked an appointment..and tonight,i'll sssoo be pampering myself..hoho!

happy wednesday,starlights..

.fire.through.the.night.

yes,baby...very bitttcchhyy..

see the contrast??hurhur..

when darkness falls..

on friday i didnt get to mit him..i was already home,awaiting for his call..he only called past 9pm,telling me that he wont be able to book out..in fact they were being confined..fug..knowing me,i got upset over it..not his fault..coz of his stupid platoon mate who came late when they were suppose to fall in..bubble burst!

so on saturday woke up extra early just so i could finish my book..the one that i've been talking abt..yes,i've finished it,at last!!awesome,marvelous,brilliant,wat-u-may-call-it after finishing a good read.he just booked out and was with his dad to get his award..woots!!boyfren's smart ass..congrats,love..then after he went to wan the mark's place for session..watched tv and fell aslp..decided to shower and have some food..still wasnt able to fast..still no calls..everyone went out,i was left alone..finally the call came..at 7pm i got out as there he was,waiting at the void deck..i was all smiles...

while waiting for the bus,he hugged and we swayed and held tight as he sang the morning march song..the song that i noe reminds him of me..we kept gazing at each other's eyes and he kept making me laugh..then he told me that for his p.o.p,there's only 2 tickets given...i was so sad..i couldnt go..obviously..and i would rather see him march and see him and be proud of him for that moment...but he can't be blamed..

we took the train and went to city hall..bumped into rina and said our olas..we walked to marina square and decided on spageddies..suddenly he was craving for fast food instead. -.- babe..we were all the way at city hall and our dinner's fast food??*smacks forehead* went to all-the-time burger king and we talked abt future..plans and wat's been gng on that we have yet to update each other..after having a fag after dinner,he said.."i want my gf to withstand the rain.." i shrugged and said sure,y not??as i see all couples hudled in the corner at the shelter or couples walking with an umbrella..i did bring the umbrella he bought for me..but oh hell..let's play in the rain,shall we??it was fun..it was cold and pouring..and i slide thru..and he kept smiling to himself..i was having so much time..been a while since i played in the rain..much more fun when ej's with me,of course..went off for home after and bumped into khai,mulysa..yes,he has hair..and tsue,babe, he sent his regards..

he kept making faces in the train.hugged me close as he sang in my ear..aaww..decided to wait for zul at tamp int,although it was past 11pm..hafiz the uncle called..eh!!i saw u and ej..turn back..im at 969..after getting our sweet talk,we went to 969 and from across talked to him..his hair's long now..haha..time ns,snip,snip,snip..and no bitchy moment from him..so kental..bah!hahah..so anyways,ej and i sat at the place where we always have a fag..listened to songs,cuddled here and there and finally zul came..past 11.30pm..sssoo slow..

parted ways,sunday came..

slept all alone as pipi and ally were at g's.talked to ej and was already missing him bad.i was thankful that he waited till 2am just so i could wash up..he waited although he was so sleepy and tired..thank u.i woke him up that morning and we talked.i fell aslp back again and realised damn,was late!rushed to the shower and grabbed watever things..packed my bag,kissed mum and she wanted to slice some cake for ej's mum..but it was not ready yet..decided to give on another day and off i went..in the bus i realised how upset i am for not being able to attend his pop..sigh..oh wells..reached his place..he was still in the shower..his mum had cooked porridge..she took some for me,eventhough she was fasting..i felt bad..helped myself with water and played with his brother..his mum talked and we laughed and ej finally emerged from the showers..while he was packing up and i was busily chatting with his mum,he smiled and mouthed 'i love you..' i gave a sheepish smile..and his mum smiled,knowing a secret was being shared.. :D

we kept holding hands and in the bus he hugged me..i rested on his arm and intertwine our fingers..went to royal sporting house in search of his tights..friction while running,baby..ouch..and all the way he held my hand although we're walking through narrow aisle.silly boy..and when i parted my hands with his to flick a strand hair or to get something in my bag,his hand was awaiting..aaww..took the train to cck..

fagged and off waited for the bus..he said that he hate it when we gotta part our ways..but we noe he has to go..then on saturday,since our pay comes in by wednesday,we shall enjoy the rest of that 10days..yeay!!

called pipi..she was still at g's.decided to cab back home after miting her..while in the train otw to orchard he called..time was 9pm.he gotta surrender at 9.40pm.and he's in charge at that pt of time..*proud moment*we talked..laughed..saying he misses me so much..and was tickled by mark,his camp mate's antics..it was sucha great way to end that day..

reached orchard and took the bus to g's.a lone condo which is fucking awesome.got in..george gave a cheery hello and sat blissfully on the comfy sofa..watched tv and laughed with him..yes,future bro-in-law..went in ally's room,where she was hiding in the laundry basket..hurhur..so cute..carried her out and more talks with g..then after decided to head home with pipi and ally...

great night,awesome 2 days..no sulkings(hehehe..) and full of hugs and decent lovings..thank you,ej..i love you..

happy monday..xoxo.

.over.a.black.veil.

i shall march with pride..

yesterday felt so shagged after work..just remembered that ej might not be able to call me that night..due to his march at east coast from 9pm to 4am..my spirits dampened as all i needed was his voice..reached home,lazed ard and continued on my book..

while preparing the table to break fast,(not that i was,but was helping mum)i heard a distant ringtone of 'the fallen'.i was like ej!!!and dropped everything and rushed to my fone..gosh..i was overwhelmed..as early as 7pm he had called..we talked and he told me how his day went..i was still surprised and was still in a way all over the call..he laughed and we did our best to make the call worthwhile.at 7.10 he had to hang up..i asked him to please text me before surrendering his mobile

which he did..

and so today's the day that finally i'll be in his arms again..and i've been keeping track of time...to wish that the call would come soon..of informing me that he book out already..and then..we'll meet and have a great evening...coz i miss him so..and there's still 2mrw... :D

happy friday,babes.

.spiteful.vengeance.

'a piece of my life', 'arena of concealment' by caliban. these are the 2 songs on replay mode every morning to work. and yes,it'll always be a great morning..

last night was lazing on the couch,reading the book 'a thousand splendid suns'.i think that's the title.all i noe it's the book after 'kite runner'.and yes,the book im reading is realli awesome..it's abt how the girls in afghan live..and how they are being married to men at such a young age.gosh..it was real hard to put the book down,though i was already so sleepy...

ej called and instead of himself sounding so tired,it seems as though it was my turn..in the afternoon i had too much things on my mind..work+ej+renting of houses had made me so shagged..i was an airhead once i reached home.hence i didnt sound as happy as the boy on the other line..he asked why and informed i sounded sad..i told him that it's nothing and we should just brush it off..was just plain tired..but he,being the person that loves me,noes me too well and said.."u missed ej,huh?u missed the old me?" there,i started crying..

he apologised for the things that shouldnt have mattered..he apologised for changing,of being tired each time..and myself,i just dun see the reason for the apology..he didnt do anything wrong..it's not his fault for being tired every nite..training's tough and all..all i wanted was the old him back..that tired,yet happy bf that i once knew..not the tired and grumpy bf that i've been with for the past few days..

he did promise me last 2 nights he'll text me..so i reminded him and he asked how many texts that i want..and i said 'ten thousand.' and we laughed and started negotiating..time was wasted as suddenly i could hear his officers shouting at them to give their mobiles back.abrupt silence.he knew i was damn upset.and i could hear his guilt thru the thick silence.

we said our gdbyes..and he still sounded apologetic..hating myself for his guilt,i tried to answer our standard gdbyes in a cheery voice,yet it failed me..and i requested to get my ej back..and told him to inform ej that i miss him so..and he said that he'll try to get ej back to me..and we hung up with dark cloud hovering us.and so i cried myself to sleep...for no reason that i could find..

he'll be booking out 2mrw..and after telling him that i might be out on saturday,we tried to adjust our plans...a week more to go bfore his pop..even that didnt make me better neither do i feel any relief...i just need the old ej back..the one that anticipates each call even sacrificing his smoke break just to talk to me coz he misses me so..the one that gives a cheerful hello and the one that will make me laugh in each conversation,eventhough time would be scarce for us..but still,no matter wat..i love him with all my heart..no matter wat happens...i love you no matter wat..

happy thursday,YEAY BESOK!!

.paranoia.seeps.in.

there shouldn't be any other.

just me and you.

just us two.

and we'll piggyback for the rest of our lives.

just me and you.

just us two.

can it all come true...?
i swear i've nvr cheated on u..
so tell me..
wat lies beneath..
the lies,
or truth.

.caliban.morning.

for all that we've gone thru...

he fetched me at loading day after work on monday..took a cab there coz he was late..and he called.he said i'll have to wait for another hour..fug..suddenly while talking to him,he stood before me...cb..threw him a huge hug..gosh..missed him so much!!took the train to dhoby as the plan was to catch a movie..been a while..

watched death race which is a fuggen awesome movie!!!the girl is so damn hot..even i couldnt stop oggling my eyes on her assets..haha..no,im not turning lesbian on u now..still prefer real men.anw,then after things kinda got sour as we took the escalator down..misunderstanding and a small argument as i walked off from him towards the mrt station and himself to ps..i was totally out of control..the rage,the disappointment and all the trust i had for him..i was walking aimlessly,complaining to tsue which half of the conversation i doubt she could even hear..i had tears running down my cheeks,oblivious to the crowd walking past me..i was realli,realli feeling depressed..and yes,near suicidal..it's like all faith and hope literally fade out..all the effort put to waste..and all u see is just a human figure..literally..not just being dramatic,but tat's how i felt on monday nite..that soul-less being,all air escaped from my lungs...

i knew i shouldn't have walked off from him..i sat at dhoby platform,crying...i called him back and asked where he was...ps.i walked..on the fone with pipi..crying again..and i didnt wanna let him see my weakness,so i wiped my tears away and met him.we walked in silence and the greying of nite hovering us..i could see the rage in him..the face all formed a crease..i knew he was mad..and myself,empty.we didnt talk..as we were taking the train,he stood in front of me and kissed my forehead..the smell of his usual sweet in his mouth filled my nose,plus with a little something..i sniffed again...sigh...i asked.he said he did.my disappointment was beyond words.

for 7days that i waited..for all these while in ns..i still waited,though at times i felt like giving up,but still here i am standing before him..and that's wat i got..although it was a misunderstanding,i wouldnt even wanna noe if anothr person were to be in the picture..coz this is for him.for us.for the relationship.we talked that night on the fone abt wat actually happened..yes,he has a lotta frens..and myself,i do too..just that i find myself contacting my close ones..and he noes who they are..and i guess i thought he did the same too to me..obviously not.which created all these...

tuesday took leave as i wanted to send him off..poor thing as i saw him carrying that huge ass big black bag..he was actually slouching..i tried to lift the bag,only to get real tired..ha..he looked tired..he looked shagged..and i would say that since he booked out on monday,it had been quite different..change in his excitement of meeting up..i see him more looking in dire need of rest..and that call..yesterday after booking in again..i was all excited coz i already missed him..and i got a tired 'hello' from him..i could only sigh and wish him to be much happier and kept asking him to give my ej back..

pop on 12 sept.. :D

in the train yesterday he said that rather than saving the money for guitar,he would save it for something else..he said the guitar will be bought after being stable..for now,he'll just buy effect..and so i asked him where would the saved money go to?and i found myself smiling oh so happily...thank you...

im wondering wat reason to give for 12 sept to apply leave..the fact that in need of manpower is so important and taking leave wld be a hassle..and i cant say i have to attend to bf's pop..eventhough they all noe that ej's in ns..i should think that would be an in appropriate reason..so tell me...wat do i say...??and i can't wait to see u on friday..or maybe saturday...or maybe sunday..we'll see if time let us...

happy wednesday,huney..

.i.miss.miss.

i'm so nervous rite now..

i went to baybeats only on saturday with tsue..went after gng geylang with mum and her,in search of my ethnic costume..the one that i liked costs like $160.got that on sunday instead..i was so cranky..i was pmsing..thank god tsue's there to talk to mum..coz i didnt feel like talking to anyone when it was scorching hot,the place filled with goddamn minahreps and matreps,showing off their tattoos and wearing skimpy clothings..no respect for ramadhan at all..it's realli sad..and im ashamed to be even be part of them,wat more their race..it realli poses a disgrace to the malay community..and the numbers of those who are stated above are decreasing..their age grp i mean..as young as 15yr old was seen carrying a baby on sunday..and she had that arrogant look..the guy was smoking next to the baby,with tattoo all over..i have no more words to say..

baybeats was awesome..not the crowd or wat,but i shall say that day was awesome.though i felt so slack with just t-shirt and jeans..(anal abt my dressing)and i was pms-ing,i had fun with the girls..with tsue,shikin and lat..funny asses as we chilled at marina square..so sly..hahaha..anw,bought a top just to change..god.and i felt better..

sunday off to geylang again with mum as i got my costume and ej called at night!!!and yes,yes,yes!!i'm miting him today after work!!!yeay!!!!!!!so happy,okay..and it's a little shitty when i woke up before dusk to have my meal...to the toilet,damn..red dot day just came.1st day of fasting month,1st day of this..so much for "i shall fast on the first day!!" sheesh!!!!i cant wait to see my ghumbra and im having flutterflies in my tummy..as if it'll be the first time miting him..hurhur..im sounding so silly and annoying..oh wells..dinner and movie!!!!yeay!!!can't wait to hug him!!!eeks!!!!!

feelin' me??

happy monday,sugah!